puzzling;

now tell me who be the one who sunk s.k.'s black pearl? and why be cap'n davvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvy jones keeping his kraken held on tightly! utterly confusing.


here's a quote i find memorable by Warren Beatty,

'All we need is a voluntary, free-spirited, open-ended program of procreative racial deconstruction. Everybody just gotta keep fuckin' everybody 'til they're all the same color. '

to fucking hell with all these races shit because it places boundaries with deep ends that just messes with everyone's lives.

I am still thinking of you,

so are you [ err not me, go get the sentence right, just in case ].  The you in my sentence is for someone whose presence isn't as felt as before anymore. We all have one or two or many people in our lives that we will never forget. Sigh...mine happened a long, long time back and memories still linger.

this part is specially dedicated to itu mi-chelle who arrr surely read my blog wannnn((: hi mi-chelle see so sweet right i have a special para for you in my post today :D eh eh bila mau kahwin? cepatan dong! if there's no one left to be your bestman it'd be an honour for me to be one for you!(:

here's a thought that might [ okay it's just a dream but still.. ] change the world! imagine two countries. one's fully dedicated on a plan set by the government which focuses on long & short term benefits. now here's another country which is divided into two imaginary segments. one focuses more on the short term benefits for both the country and its population and the other relies on the long term benefits. of course to make this work, both segments have to offer different boons to the society so that the number is more or less evenly shared. and together these two segments will work hand in hand, strengthening all the bases of the country as a whole. it's hard to go into the details here but you get the idea right!

hopefully it's not like this maths equation :

63 X 1 = 63


31.5 + 31.5 = 63


NO DIFFERENCE lar >.<

to which reminds me of the papers i had yesterdays. ARGH! MATHS WAS BARELY DO-ABLE PHYSICS WAS A KILLER. somehow i sorta found new miraculous physics discoveries and wrote them down. then there's chem sigh,


no pick up lines today. just go up to her and say hi.

I am like a piano,

so are you. You'd make a sound if i touched you at a spot and you'd make a mellifluous melody if i tapped several SPOTS at once. AHAHAHAHA. pun intended. sorry i couldn't help writing down a double entendre ((: here's the thing aight, everyone who 'plays' you, well sorta kinda, i mean in real life people communicate with you, so in a way we all do 'play' each other. OKAY SHEESH. play as in to evoke a response [ or sound in the case of the piano ]  get it? moving on. there are plenty of ways to play a piano or at least i have seen many...blind-folded, duet, hands at the back, with notes, without notes, super sonic speed, slow macam kura-kura. HMMMMM...so yeh. the next part is gonna be tricky to explain to you all. When people play us, there'd be a certain 'melody' that we emote? and it depends on the way these people do it. Like for eg., if you play me with notes...yeh sure the melody is nice but it's...boring, same goes with you playing me slowly...* yawns*. Hmm but if you play me blindfolded, without notes or in duet form [ damnnnnnnnnnnn feels like barney and ted going for 'THE BELT' ahahaha duet((: ], then everythings so much more exciting...even the harmony produced is much more random, more fresh more original. uhuh. do you getttttttttttttttttttt my piano analogy? HAHAHAHA. now where is that grandpiano i am waiting for?

anyway, have you ever let your head fall back onto the bed thinking there's a pillow right at where your head was gonna land? only to find out that there's a hard book there. it's like the expectation of something soft...to come in contact with the back of my head and when then i  hit something hard, it hurts ): hahahaha. I WANNA BE A BILLIONAIRE SO FREAKING BAD that song is stuck in my head. i feel it's rather catchy or maybe it resembles a hidden hope in everyone. hehe. losers [: arghhh suddenly i miss...showering at cubicles and talking to friends at the same time...these days i just sing and hope no one's outside washing their faces with the 'ugh can he shut up already look' on them. hehehee.

pick up line! this one was natural :D

i am like glass,

so are you. we all are rather hard on the outside but fragile like hell inside. and when we break, the fragments we burst into will hurt all those around us, nothing really serious but it can cut deep enough to leave a scar, imprinted forever in their lives; even for those who know how to pick them splinters up, cleaning up the mess we made mmm slowly but surely we will be recycled (: back to a new old glass. ta daa. i just made a life analogy with a glass.

so i am down to 9 papers. 2 by this friday maths and physics. i need to be a sponge. WAIT-not that kinda sponge where i live off others. i am talking about the kind that absorbs umm water just that in this case it's knowledge i am referring to shit this para is getting lamer with every additional word. NEXT!
i will end this post with a cheesy pick up line since someone said i am full with it, so much so that i can write a book. ugh.


'Hi, are you all that inside like how you are outside( hand gestures)?'


technically this can actually work if you say it with enough poise & grace. HAHAHA. try it and tell me.

Zack and his sleep; lack of it more like,

fucked up.

these are the two words that i can type down that represent my schedule right to the dot. and please don't give me that shit about not using profanities blah blah because i really can't be bothered. if you remembered my post long time ago about these words..yeh. might've deleted it though mate. i have no idea why sleep issues keep coming up in my posts, maybe it's my body screaming at me through my fingers, metaphorically, about it needing rest.

so yehs my sleeping time is way off the normal charts. like an anomaly so much so that even i myself don't know how it's like. and the screwed up thing is i know i am not alone on this, you little idiots out there have more or less the same issue like me. haha ((:

now where be that cup of nescafe of mine?

i am a player,

so are you. everyone plays games. it's just to what extent. to be more specific and detailed, it is more like a test to see if the opposite sex is what you want...so you give it a shake, some fumbles, some gropes and voila if you like it you take it if you don't you leave it. don't get me wrong. this applies to both guys and girls. uhuh. so to all of you who feel low in confidence and think that those supposed 'Players' out there are way ahead of you, i suggest you just give it a shrug because you luv, are one heckofa player too :D

okay maybe the last part was a lil bs. HAHA. well tbh, the only difference is that they do it for the fun of it, you do it maybe because you just wanna make sure he/she is "THE ONE" [ ahahahahahahhahaa we shall get to that one day] before you make the emotional connection.

I have nothing against homosexual guys,

but sometimes just leave me out of the equation. geez.

there is this guy in my block, he looks a little feminine to begin with. you may be wondering what made me feel that he is gay. here are a few examples, everytime i get back to my level, if he is outside i can almost feel his eyes over me and really i feel very naked, in the bad bad bad way[ NOT THE BAD NAUGHTY WAY OKAYYYY]  i mean which guy out there looks at another guy whom he doesn't know for longer than 3 seconds consecutively. oh and next is when i come out of the showers, i have nothing on but my towel. people i don't have a beach body there is nothing that will make you turn your head twice after the first GLANCE. so yeah you should already guess what happened, i didn't exactly get ogled at but he looked once, and after he walked out of the toilet, he turned back........and looked at me. wtf?! and yes the third time was when i was making noodles in my shorts only. i mean guys how long does it take to make a bloody cup of coffee! it seemed to take forever for him :/ i am not being vain. i just don't like this kinda attention unless well he is hot and cute. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA.

motivated to write a short palindrome,

short as life is
play more
don't
complete your important stuff

read it backwords :D i will think harder for a longer one next time stay tuned.

here is more than one thing about me,

but before that i found out another name for counter strike, this shooting game that boys play, is called *drum rolls*

PEW PEW! bet you are rolling your eyes eh. imagine that going along with the little hand motion where i hold up my thumb and forefinger in the shape of a gun and aim it at you, PEW PEW((: whoa wait, that's actually quite a good roleplay. AHAHAHAHA.

i finally realised it's not that i lost the will. i have the drive, though it doesn't really matter, just that i need to place it correctly((: hahahahaha. and here's one of my strength and my weaknesses when it comes to last minute studying. i can understand sentences that stand on facts alone without much difficulty but mix it up with some numbers and further number-related explanations on it, then you will lose me. i hate hybrid knowledge they mess wit yo mind yo.

and my hair is growing back again :C no time to waxxx though.

here's the convo between my mum and i

son  : shit my hair is growing back *looking down at my legs* it's so unkempt!
mum: *rolls her eyes* you are afraid of what you initially had omg
som : but i look better smooth! maybe i will go for brazillian waxing after exams.
mum: if only you have similar intensity in your goals when it comes to studies

see my mum always find a way to link whatever i say to my studies. and i respect her for that. let me give you another example.

son : hey you need anything to dl? i can get just about anything for you and dad
mum: i only need you to dl knowledge from your books to your head for me and dad

WTF

i am fearless with my Nescafe 6+2. i always need 2 gir..-(oops)sachets & 1 cup. EEW.

go for a game of pew pew ppl.

Modesty,

Guys & Girls, I, Z-Win, hereby solemnly proclaim that I have been schooled, yet again.

idioms,

they should make some series called IDIOMBUSTERS or some shite like that where they test these proverbs and see how much truth they hold behind their periodically perplexing words. it gets fucking annoying when people use them on me and at every opportunity they will find me retorting by twisting those very words they said in describing my follies, it's all tantamount to a kiddy courtcase :D


but i seriously hate these proverbs. stupid stupid phrases of words.

Raisins,

i have been sleeping so much lately, at least a solid 12 hours daily. and i suspect it's the raisins i am eating. you see i eat in abundance! ahahaha. supposedly if you eat like a handful everyday you will become smarter so i thought if i took it in in HANDFULS it might help me exponentially. well yeah maybe it does, in increasing my waist size.

sigh, i have a mere week plus to rush knowledge into my brains. knowledge that was gradually dissipated to us over a period of six months. i figured i lost the thrill of the chase or maybe the edge for competition and it's tying me down to a standstill for the past few years getting me nowhere. not to mention the hopes of everyone on my shoulder.

yes i know it's my fault, i am to blame blah blah you don't need to go thinking oh i brought it onto myself and all. i know that. neither do you need to give me any prep talk. i can do that better with myself. sometimes i hope i have something to fall back on. some comfort zone i can go to. sadly other than indulging myself with games i hardly have anything that eases my mind.

does this world really have something meant for us if we really worked for it? honestly i don't think so. most of you are just gonna get your degree maybe your masters phds blah blah bleah if you go on academically to what ends? a better life with more money? bigger house? women cars branded items if you are men, or designer handbags or shoes for the women? no seriously, what is there to life. besides the crystal clear function of all humans on earth which is to continue mankind.

i used to think that direct sales, you know those where people our age would approach you and ask you to do a one-time purchase of their products and all you have to do to earn back the money you 'invested' in is by inviting other people to join this 'investment' where you get some form of commission. yeah that. i used to think it's a vicious cycle that eddifies throughout our society and slowly destroy the lives of those students involved. but then again when i pondered about it again, it ain't that bad. because it helps you widen your social circle. which will somehow help you out one day in the future. it's like a price you have to pay to get to know more people if you get what i mean. uh huh.

yes i know i jumped from the hours i sleep to raisins to my studies to life to direct sales. very random[:
i feel like getting some rum now. hee.

machine,

might not pick up, might not reply and doubt i will be on much.

bloo,

i miss the boy who loves oldies,
i miss the boy who finishes his homework in class,
i miss the boy who was adorable and funny,
i miss the boy who was jovial,
i miss the boy who was kind and polite,
i miss the boy who loves challenges,
i miss the boy who plays bball everyday,
i miss the ease i had when it came to smiling,

what happened to the simpleness.

single parent,

have you ever wondered how hard is it to be one?

especially when you know, you have kids, a home and just about everything else but...him/her. everywhere you go you can almost feel your partner's presence, feel her hugging you at the kitchen counter, feel his arms around your waist as you both wait for the coffee percolator to be done, see her smile when you open your eyes first thing in the morning..and the worst part is loving the kids; you would definitely see his/her face in them and just for that one last time, you'd wish you could have a moment with your partner, just one last time to hear his/her voice comforting you and telling you that everything's gonna be alright...


p.s. of course i am referring to death when i talked about the missing partner.

mum & dad,

to see him setting himself for yet another downfall,
to see him rebelling without cause,
to see him veering off the right path,
and yet to still be able to care and love like always.
thank you.


i am perfectly capable of empathizing you but unlike your tenacity in me, mum & dad, i am very close to walking out of mine and i am sorry.