Raisins,

i have been sleeping so much lately, at least a solid 12 hours daily. and i suspect it's the raisins i am eating. you see i eat in abundance! ahahaha. supposedly if you eat like a handful everyday you will become smarter so i thought if i took it in in HANDFULS it might help me exponentially. well yeah maybe it does, in increasing my waist size.

sigh, i have a mere week plus to rush knowledge into my brains. knowledge that was gradually dissipated to us over a period of six months. i figured i lost the thrill of the chase or maybe the edge for competition and it's tying me down to a standstill for the past few years getting me nowhere. not to mention the hopes of everyone on my shoulder.

yes i know it's my fault, i am to blame blah blah you don't need to go thinking oh i brought it onto myself and all. i know that. neither do you need to give me any prep talk. i can do that better with myself. sometimes i hope i have something to fall back on. some comfort zone i can go to. sadly other than indulging myself with games i hardly have anything that eases my mind.

does this world really have something meant for us if we really worked for it? honestly i don't think so. most of you are just gonna get your degree maybe your masters phds blah blah bleah if you go on academically to what ends? a better life with more money? bigger house? women cars branded items if you are men, or designer handbags or shoes for the women? no seriously, what is there to life. besides the crystal clear function of all humans on earth which is to continue mankind.

i used to think that direct sales, you know those where people our age would approach you and ask you to do a one-time purchase of their products and all you have to do to earn back the money you 'invested' in is by inviting other people to join this 'investment' where you get some form of commission. yeah that. i used to think it's a vicious cycle that eddifies throughout our society and slowly destroy the lives of those students involved. but then again when i pondered about it again, it ain't that bad. because it helps you widen your social circle. which will somehow help you out one day in the future. it's like a price you have to pay to get to know more people if you get what i mean. uh huh.

yes i know i jumped from the hours i sleep to raisins to my studies to life to direct sales. very random[:
i feel like getting some rum now. hee.