minnie in tears,

disneyland.

you can either love it or hate it. i love it. the atmosphere was, [cliche coming, DUCK!] magical. the fireworks view from the top of tarzan's house was just a tad short of enchantingly romantic. makes me think up on quixotic mysterious ideas. sorry, put me in solitary moments like this and i'd change into this [cliche, YOUR WAY!] hopeless romantic.

i cried last night.

and i am not ashamed to say this. because i was supposed to imagine myself in a situation where my best friend was gonna die. and i pathetically failed in it because i subconsciously replaced the best friend with my parents. and later on myself. and suddenly i feel so small.

sorry.

let me leech on you,

There are many people amongst us who seek company just to make ourselves feel better. We seek the attention and the thrill of being the topic of discussion or the life of the crowd when we are with others or even when we aren't, be it for good or bad. Initially this feels really good. I mean, we humans aren't exactly creatures of solitude. No, in fact, we thrive on the show of emotions and we are all filled with the need to emote to others or objects and the desire to obtain acknowledgement from the factors we express ourselves to. Thus, when those whom we communicate with for the pleasure of our own respond, we attain this irrevocable joy that we would begin to crave after a while.

This isn't entirely bad but neither is it good. Well actually, it differs in various occasions. If the people are always there for us, you wouldn't really be able to notice the difference. But sooner or later you'd find yourself alone and no one would be there. Oh yes you could and would find a temporary replacement but after that you'd feel so useless , dependent and desperate.

This is the point where you get hooked on attention and this makes you weak because only then you'd realize that you have had no pillar of support all this time for your own opinions because all this while you have been seeking recognition from others, thinking you are the one in control when you are actually not. When you have no one there to satisfy your attention-crave, you'd feel sucked in and dejected, not so much at first but it will get worst. It's almost like a drug.

One that you find uber hard to restrain from.

IT'S DURIAN SEASON!

prepare yourself for runtuhS of DURIANS! :D

anyway, do you remember the part in casino royale where daniel comforted eva in the showers after he killed and hid the bodies of like what..THREE other men? sometimes..i feel like daniel [ in the showers i mean, not the killing of the men ] other times i liken myself to eva. sighh. couldn't find a picture so use your imagination or better go watch it again((:

been reading again woots :D i think for one to enjoy reading, one has to have the ability to imagine in their respective genres. like i read books about war during the olden days, i actually sit back, close my eyes and let my mind roam free in setting the scenes that i have just read andddddddddddddddddddddd i find that very very entertaining!


btw i saw something really funny on failbook that day it went something like [ okay this is gonna get a lil offensive to some so i apologise in advance ]

' Oral sex makes your day, Anal sex makes your hole weak '

get it? I WAS LAUGHING MY SOCKS OFF! hahahahahahahahahaha.

sometimes i wonder if what they say is true. that women have an easier time living without the touch of men but it is not so for most men.

dear lord.

a burger & a purpose,

yesterday i was having a teh ossummost burger - double cheese beef special + egg - ORGASMIC is just an understatement that will just have to do for now but the thing is i figured something out, something i thought would stay as a problem. i could tell you but i'd rather not mention on the blog. HAHA.

lesson learnt CHUCK THEM BURGERS IN & masturbate less :P

unstraight?

my mind is scaring me. i just don't find girls of similar age all that anymore. sure i might flirt maybe even more. but it's just ain't that appealing. same goes with r/s while many of you are in one or more than one or busy getting into one i am being lackadaisical towards one. i doubt i am turning gay though i've yet to kiss a guy, of my type if i may add. maybe it's older women. HAHAHA. arghh. utterly confused then again, not that i am bothered.

i found out that people of old age need to have a daily goal or something to push them on on a daily basis. an action that reminds them of the old days and an action that keeps their minds active because once they lose this, that's when they start dying inside, metaphorically.

should i go? or should i not.

RASPBERRY! :D

okay. talk to me and you should realize that i /insert/ dirty jokes into the convos quite frequently and it makes me seem like some young pervy. i am making a conscious attempt to stop that and i will talk like the clean-but-not-so-innocent guy that i am. so guys & girls, when you contact me don't provoke me with potential naughty&dirty-liners please :D

*picture life as this 'travel-by-foot-journey' on this rocky dangerous path & each peak is a success point where there are only two ways you can get to the other end, after many many peaks [walking or running] now don't tell me oh but we can roll, we can backslide, we can leap, we can swim. don't get fucky with me. back to topic. well, running gets you there faster but running increases risk of you falling, risk of accidents to make it clear. and by the time you reach the top you'd be so exhausted and you'd actually rest longer than you should before going on because you think that you deserved it. well walking on the other hand gets you there slower but it makes sure you are safe and mid-journey if anything were to befall you like a predator ( go imagine this and find some connection with reality ), you could still run! besides walking keeps you going even if you have reached the top, you take a welltimed rest and you go on. so are you walking or running?

*on an unrelated note. has anyone tried walking the face of the earth? like you know walk around the whole earth on foot from point A to point A covering most if not all the countries. it'll be such an experience. hahahahaha.

*i find it disgusting when i see guys trying to prove themselves blatantly to ladies in front of other people, be it directly or indirectly. i don't know about others but it is really obvious to me. and i am not a fan of competition either unless it's worthy of my time. especially when others are trying too hard and the catch isn't all that. uhhuh.

*i am sick :( sniffles + throat pain.

* i love raspberries! i just read about these long paragraphs written on them and they are AWESOME!

THE SUN IS SHINING!

 i woke up this morning...wait i meant afternoon.

3:30!

omg. or is that evening actually?

anyway, i have no idea why i was so sad yesterday. sure i am further away from my friends. but hey i am actually nearer than i realize. besides i have memories. they last. so yeh. chill people.

but i just kept replaying one memory in my mind. just that one.

anyway about feet. the archs, the nicely formed toes, neatly done nails it all combines to form this powerful alluring part that i feel is important to me. HAHA. weird i know right. but think about this way. our feet is the part that is most exposed to wear & tear and by actually taking care of the aesthetics of our feet we show how much we care about our entire body.

MASQUERADE :D

void,

i am like a blackhole right now. i will suck anything and everything that can even give me a partial temporary bliss.

stupid stupid stupid.

damn it,

you asked me why i looked sad & depressed, no it's anything but that.

it's just everything has been so taxing emotionally, these past few days. and before i can even recover, everything has to come to an end. really been some roller coaster ride and to dwell on the fact that i am leaving. sigh. i know i can come back to inti anytime i want but it's just gonna be different.

i feel so powerless.

*i think i know what i really need though (:

so much to write,

here's a summary.

first i got club-devirginised but lass & guys you were awesome. too bad i didn't get drunk.

second, i got a double piercing at poh kong. it was supposed to be on my right but...it ended up on my left.

third i wore suspenders. to a ball. gahh so many nay-sayers out there i tell you but i personally feel i successfully carried the look. either way, i wasn't really bothered with what they said.

fourth, inti ball. it ain't exactly the grandest thing that you could attend but things pretty much fell into place so i guess based on that you could say it was quite a success.

fifth i think our feet can really be an alluring body part. i shall explain more on my next post.

boy's bestfriend, too,

big cars don't matter. neither do extravagant houses. maybe a huge lawn. but everything is easily replaced with them. they don't care about brands, life statuses, lavish lifestyles or the latest trends. they don't alienate you if something bad happens, they are there for you no matter what.

all you have to do is open your heart.

they make you feel special. they always want your attention. they never stop looking for fun and joy together with you. they never judge you. they are not hypocritical. and you can read them like a book. practically all they ever want is to play with you. the best thing is if you form a bond strong enough, they'd give their lives for you in times of danger.

now how many living creatures out there you know are like that?

Nobody but you,

Nothing really makes my morning like a song by Janice & Sonia accompanied by a cup of nescafe double-dose. Those two individuals are so incredibly gifted. I think it was June who asked me to check out their videos(: thanks! haha.

I am amazed at how composed I am although I have a Bio paper 4 exam in like 4 hours and I still have approximately 6 chapters and 6 past years to finish before I can call myself partially ready for the exam. Whee! I love exams.

Oh i just love the acapella version of o come all ye faithful by them!  :D

*Why can't we be something like ants. Ants BATU!

Made of Win,

z-win \ zack-win(US); zee-win(UK) \, noun, verb;
-noun
1. a person that temporizes habitually so much so that the person wrecks his midlife : you are such a z-win.

-verb ( used without object )
1.  to procrastinate continuously until the point of ruining one's midlife : stop z-winning already.

-idiom
1. z-win after z-win, to screw up in midlife again & again due to one's laziness : That idiot of a guy is doing a z-win after z-win.

-informal
1. fucked up person

Origin :
2006-2010;  a difficult word to trace, thought to have originated from an anonymous figure but presumably, it's a word that's more ancient than it seems. the word apparently contains far greater meanings in olden italian;
'z-ween' isi sowo fuckkad tupp'





HAHAHAHA. i couldn't resist :D hehe. i sometimes wonder if things wouldn't have been different if i had gone to a co-ed school. maybe i could've had a semi-real sister, one that i find myself needing more and more as the days pass. maybe i'd have an easier time trusting girls no matter what. maybe.

i don't want to believe anymore.

____________________________________________________

violence happens in gaza strip again :( i am still reading up on it right now. +1 to ww3!

herstory repeats itself,

*i fumbled once more.

*i am a dog lover. i don't know much about dogs yeh but i really wouldn't mind just lying down on an empty field of grass with my dog next to me anytime. it feels safe to at least know that she/he would just stay by me.

*maybe if ww3 breaks out i can fly to nz and live off milking and shearing them sheeps, then my A level results wouldn't matter, that's if i don't die getting nuked

*you should stop caring for people who don't care about you just for yourself but for other hidden agendas you can't be a Mother Teresa or a Nurse Nightingale, it's sapping

now here's a fucking mona lisa face to help make your day better

you should go read on mona lisa and the history behind it it's interesting as it is supposed to be a work of art that represents the complexity of women. pffft. and it's actually quite a small masterpiece in real life for those of you who hadn't actually seen it.