familiar, a little,

do you know the feeling when you are really bored, like you are in the state of mindlessness and you get bored with everything that you did or are doing, literally everything and then just like that, just with a change in the direction of wind, your mind sets itself on an all too familiar path, mayhaps one you did not take or perhaps one that you did and lived to regret for, and like how rain miraculously 'dissolves' into sand, your subconsciousness is seemingly transported back to the moment before you made that decision, suddenly colours flow from every corner filling gaps you never knew existed, exponentially increasing the vibrancy of the mere fiction of your imagination; and then you start pondering, thinking, fathoming about all the different things that may have, could have, would have happened had you made the other 'right' choice, and then, you try ever so gently at first, ever so subtly, to rid yourself off those thoughts that stick like how a baby clings to her mother when suckling, to immerse yourself in a sea of self-created distractions, and you find it futile, like adding salt to the sea, and then you start to drown in that sea of doubt and negation, perhaps even depression, drown as you blow out your last breath in the form of tiny bubbles that you feel running up your face to the surface which is getting further and further away; and just as you were about to give up, a violent tug pulls you back up to the surface with a force that would have ripped a child apart...and then there was light.



i am pretty sure mine's up to the point before there was a magical violet tug.