-i just want to immerse myself into the stories of everyone's lives. all those around me, absorb everything. and slowly shape my mindless thoughts around them. draw happiness or strength from them.
-holidays isn't doing me any good. if any, it's worsening my state. free time lets me think. and i rarely think about positive stuff. it's always about rationalizing.
-i miss non-online contact.
-hate it whenever the need-a-sister feeling comes slowly creeping in. like really.
-every now and then sudden images formed in my mind makes me tingle. eg, playing a grand white piano in a white room, standing on the rocks by the beach, kissing someone by a man-made fountain, rolling downhill on the plains, watering a growing flower in the snow. i don't know random stuff. but then the rest of the time it will just be filled with a dark need/desire/feeling that i can't pinpoint the source of.
-and no this isn't an emo post, it's just an outright depressed one.
where are my patches damn it.
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